Freedom

I don't know how to write this post. It's something I've wanted to say for a long time, but I have baggage from when I was homeless and on a really toxic classist forum, so I'm aware that this can be said really badly.

When I was on that forum and trying to figure out how to monetize my web projects, I had people tell me that creative projects like that don't typically pay and I should expect to do that work for free and find some other way to support myself. I felt that was really an ugly message of "Your work doesn't deserve to be supported, even though people value it. It's fine that people want to read it but don't want to give you money for it."

I also felt it was a case of personal hostility. I felt people said things like that to me tell me that I didn't deserve to live or only deserved to live if I was willing to put up with endless abuse and suffering but should not expect to ever be comfortably middle class, respected and so forth.

Over time, first-hand personal experience proved to be a different story.

Having other income gave me latitude to find my voice and figure out how to speak my mind. It helped me learn to speak my truth and sort out how to do that somewhat diplomatically without being a sell out.

Textbroker is part of how I can afford to stand my ground and not care overly much how other people will react to my point of view. It also let's me work on finding ways to monetize my online projects without doing anything I feel is ethically questionable.

People sometimes take money from sponsors and then their work changes because they feel they need to please their sponsor. Or they become de facto shills and then you can't trust what they have to say anymore because they may not have actually tried the product and are only recommending it because they are being paid to promote it.

I have been accused of doing that over the content of this very blog. There are people who think Textbroker pays me write this blog as "content marketing" for their site.

It's not. I make money via Textbroker by being one of their authors. They don't pay me to promote their business. I do it because I think it's a good model, better than a lot of other online platforms out there, at least for my purposes.

I'm possibly a fool. I'm a big believe in that idea that if you have lost your wealth, you haven't really lost anything. If you have lost your health, you have lost something. If you have lost your character, you've lost everything.

I'm arguably "honset to a fault" and would perhaps be living more comfortably if I weren't, at least in terms of finances. But I earnestly believe that the price for being a sell-out is far too high and would genuinely make my life worse, not better.

So, for better or for worse, I stick to my guns when it comes to certain things that I think of as a question of ethics. This has made it hard to monetize my work, but working for Textbroker has given me some latitude to try find my way forward in spite of all that.

There are other factors negatively impacting my finances. For example, I'm medically handicapped and only work part-time, which suppresses my income.

Wherever you go, there you are. So it's hard to figure out what details actually impact the bottom line.

But I think the path I am on is the least-worst answer available to me and I'm grateful I have a means to earn some money while trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing and how the heck to do it.

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